You've Gotta Be Freaking Kidding Me
by FranticNonsense
Summary: Dean and Sam come across the TARDIS, a quirky 10th Doctor, and an ambitious Rose Tyler. Between the four of them, will they be able to take down a nearby extra terrestrial terror?


Author's Note: Takes place during Series 2 of Doctor Who, anywhere between Satan Pit and The Army of Ghosts. Takes place in Supernatural during season 4 after the Yellow Fever Episode.

My first story, and it's a crossover, so go easy on me!

#SuperWho

End Author's Note

Chapter One: Yoga Pants Appreciation

The Doctor clung to the edge of the console inside the TARDIS and threw his head back in a fit of laughter. "Well that was a load of excitement. Remind me to never wear anything shiny to the Penthor Nebulas again. Where to next, Miss Tyler?" He grinned at the blonde who adorned a shining smile as she reminisced on their most recent excursion.

"Hmm, well it's been a while since we stopped back on earth. Wouldn't hurt to tread some familiar soil." She shrugged her shoulders lightly as she kept the grin on her face.

"So you wished it, so shall it be." He did an over exaggerated bow as she playfully smacked him on the shoulder. He began pulling and pushing buttons and levers and switches with eyes wide open, set on their next adventure. "Time and location set to random! Let's see where we end up on good ol' planet earth!"

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"Dean! I told you to pee before we started the stakeout!" Sam grumbled out a whisper to his brother, who was currently relieving himself a few yards away. After the loud 'zip!' signaling that the older brother's pants were secure, Dean crouched back down next to Sam behind the cluster of bushes.

"Sorry that my bladder isn't the size of your hair, Sammy." Dean grunted and smirked in his brother's direction. Sam just rolled his eyes and focused on searching for the object of their hunt. There was a monster terrorizing the town, and they had a hunch that it was a werewolf, considering the hearts had been ripped out of the numerous victims over the last few days.

Dean toyed with his silver blade as Sam's vision swept the parameter. "Something seems off still. The son of a bitch has ripped out more hearts than the last few werewolves we gagged, and there haven't been any feral dog or wolf sightings in the area."

Sam gave his shoulders a shrug. "True, but maybe the guy's just been lucky. I mean, most of the killings have been here in the park a little after midnight. Pretty concealed hunting grounds, and not too many people are gonna look twice at a dog in the distance in the park."

"You'd think after all the bodies started showing up, the joggers would be smart enough to find a treadmill and stop doing their midnight laps around here." Dean gave a toothy smiled and winked at Sam. "Although, I do appreciate their efforts to show off those yoga pants at all hours of the day."

Sam was about to retort, emphasizing how now was not the time to discuss women's workout clothes, when he saw a shadowed figure far off in the distance. "Shhh! I think I see it."

"Time to catch Poochie." Dean brandished the small sword at his side and started to stand when he heard a noise getting louder and louder behind him. He whipped his head around and shielded his eyes from a growing blue light. "The hell is that?!"

Sam's head twisted to see the newcoming confusion along with Dean and then swerved his sight back to the object of their hunt, which was taking off into the trees and fleeing from the flashing lights.

"Damn it!" Sam stood straight and turned his full attention onto the oncoming danger in front of them. "Dean, what's going on?"

"How the hell would I know?!" Dean kept the blade at his side, but his arm gave a minor tremor. The blue strobe lights were glowing behind a group of trees about a quarter of a mile away, and it made chills run up and down his spine. He had never seen anything _close_ to this before, with the only possible exception was to that scene in E.T.. He was almost expecting a baseball to come rolling to his feet at any second.

"Well, we've gotta go check it out. That's not normal."

"Well, gee. And here I thought that a rave in the middle of the park happened every night. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. College Student." Dean checked to make sure his gun was loaded as he rounded on Sam, who flicked Dean off in response. "Let's go check out the party."

The boys kept their weapons at their sides as they approached the nearby trees that were shrouded in the now dimming lights. Whatever this blue light was, it was lessening up on the glow factor. The sound was starting to fade now, too.

Dean's muscles were tense as he approached the now all-too-quiet unknown, with Sam starting to walk around the perimeter of the trees so they could surround the enemy if possible. Dad had never written about flashing blue lights appearing in parks before, and the two of them had to be ready for anything.

Dean heard a twig snap and brought the gun up at eye level as he saw a figure start to emerge from the foliage. The second he saw wide eyes coming through, he cocked the gun and screamed "Freeze!"

A girl's voice screamed back and two arms raised in a defensive gesture. "Oi, watch where you point that thing!" A British voice reprimanded him. This chick seemed more aggravated than terrified in that moment with a loaded gun pointed at her face.

Almost like it happened to her all the time.

Dean lowered his weapon immediately to the young woman in front of him. He was about to apologize when a figure in a trenchcoat quickly emerged from the shadows as well. The words "Cas, what the Hell?" were out of Dean's mouth before he could register that, _for once,_ the lanky brunette popping out of nowhere in a trenchcoat _wasn't _Castiel.

"'Cas?' Sorry fella, I don't believe I've ever gone by that name." The man, also British, stuffed his hands into his pockets as he came to stand alongside the young blonde, standing a bit in front of her in case anymore gun-blazers decided to point their artillery at them. He puffed his chest out a bit as he leaned back on his feet and took in his surroundings.

"Alright kids, party's over." Dean cleared his throat as he pulled out one of his faux FBI badges. "Name's Agent Mercury. What's going on out here? You two needed a romantic getaway, so you found some bushes to make out in?"

Rose's eyebrows furrowed into a scowl, but she snorted and her lips twitched into an amused grin. "I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, sorry. What do they call it in England? Snogging? Yeah, were you guys snogging each other silly out here?"

"Alright, you're gonna stop right there." Rose laughed and raised her hand as The Doctor pulled at his collar, seeing as his neck just got incredibly hot. Even for a Time Lord. "First off, even though we weren't 'snogging' just then, that is none of your business."

"And second, I think the question is, what are _you _doing out here tonight 'Agent'?" The Doctor rebounded from his embarrassed flush and was quick to assist Rose into questioning their accuser.

"Excuse me, but how about you show guys show a little respect to one of the boys in blue, huh?"

"Colorado, 2008. Looks to be around midnight. So, tell me Agent, what're you doing out here with a revolver and uh," his eyes flicked down and back up as he gave a grin "a silver sword?"

"You'd be surprised how often the sight of a sword terrifies vandals." Dean said without missing a beat. "Now, you two need to get out of here as soon as possible. There have been sightings of a bear, and, hey!" The Doctor grabbed Dean's badge out his jacket, and had his sonic screwdriver do some readings over the paper.

"Just as I thought. It's a fake! Been getting better with telling the earth identifications apart nowadays." The Doctor tossed the counterfeit badge back to Dean.

The Winchester looked over the strange man whose mumblings were making less and less sense as their conversation went on. "'Earth' identifications? As opposed to what? Pluto IDs?"

"Well of course! Pluto's badges always have a red coating with blue spots along the border!" The Doctor grinned at Rose who smiled back. Clearly, they had recently shared a Plutonian trek where they learned this detail together.

"…Alright. I guess it doesn't matter that I'm not a cop because you guys are clearly doping up enough for twenty out here and you'll forget we ever had this conversation." Dean sighed. The blonde girl looked like she was about to rebuttal, again, when he heard Sam shout out "Dean! Everything's, uh, clear back here, I think."

"What? What do you mean 'you think'?"

"I mean there's nothing unusual except for this….this 1950s Police Call Box."

Dean ran past the two giggling strangers and ran towards Sam, who was circling the outside of the box, trying to make sense of why it was _miles_ from the city.

"I think I know what's going on here." Dean grumbled. "Blondie! Trenchcoat! Come over here, would ya?"

The two wandered back over to Dean with smiles as they watched the two broody figures observe the TARDIS with the same amazement everyone does the first time around. "What's up, 'Mercury'? I'm guessing you're Agent 'Mars'?" The Doctor crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at the two. Rose gave a slight laugh and nudged The Doctor in the arm.

"Alright, well first off, the real name's Dean. This is Sam." He pointed back to his brother. "And second, we know what happened. How you guys got here."

"Oh, you do? Well please enlighten us." The Doctor replied enthusiastically.

"Well it's happened to me before too. You guys have traveled through time." Dean said in complete seriousness as he placed his hands in his jacket pockets and leaned against the TARDIS.

The Doctor's face shifted into one of surprise, along with Rose whose jaw dropped. It was _incredibly_ rare to have the ones they were visiting in whatever time, country, planet, galaxy, there was to not _need convincing_ that they were time travelers. And to say it with such aloofness was astounding!

"Now I don't know if Cas gave you the play by play either." Dean continued. "He sure as Hell didn't when he sent me back to meet my father in the 70s. And I don't really know why he sent" he looked back on the TARDIS, "an object from the past along with you guys either. But it all makes sense. You guys were smoking up in the past when he sent you guys forward to the year 2008. The question is, why does an angel feel the need to send some hippies and a phonebooth to the future?" During the last sentence, Dean looked back at Sam as if he were asking only him. Sam gave a shrug, completely at a loss of explanations at this point.

The Doctor and Rose stared at Dean for a good few seconds before they looked to each other and burst into hysterical laughter.

Dean rolled his eyes and muttered "Hippies" as he walked towards Sam.

"No, no, you've got it all wrong." The Doctor said in between laughs. In a few seconds, he sobered up and approached the two with Rose on his tail. "I'll admit, I was a bit shocked that you got the time traveling part right. Kudos to you on that one. But there were no angels involved in the transport. Just my lovely ship right here." The Doctor caressed the side of the TARDIS as he spoke.

"And we're not 'hippies' or lighting up either." Rose corrected as well with a laugh.

"No, of course not, why would I think that?" Dean said brightly, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "All phonebooths are spaceships and can travel through time! Silly me!"

"You guys have to admit, your story sounds really funky." Sam laughed, agreeing with Dean.

"Well what about the two of you? Wandering around with swords and telling us about angels while you're out in the woods in the middle of the night?" Rose defended quickly, the Doctor standing by with a smile, impressed at her quick interrogation skills. "Who's smoking what now?"

"Look Blondie-"

"Rose. Rose Tyler."

"Rose Tyler. I'll tell you guys the truth, but you're not gonna believe me."

"Try us." Rose smiled and stood shoulder to shoulder with the Doctor as Sam gave Dean a hesitant glance and continued the conversation for him.

"You see, me and my brother Dean, we're hunters." Sam said gently. "And not the kind that shoot deer or go fishing. We hunt monsters that are a danger to the public. Now, no one _ever _believes us, but trust me-"

"What kind of monsters?" The Doctor piped up in complete seriousness with a curious look adorning his face. "Lochness, Frankenstein, telepathic?"

"Close." Sam smiled. "Lores that most believe are just stories. We've faced vampires, demons, werewolves-"

"Ah! Werewolves! Seen one of those recently."

Sam and Dean's eyes widened at that, hoping the two had some information on their current target. "Where, when?" Dean insisted.

"Scottish moors, 1879." The Doctor says fondly.

"Saved Queen Victoria from being devoured." Rose added.

"…" Dean looked over to Sam and rubbed the back of his own head. "Right. Queen Victoria."

"Look, we completely believe the two of you." Rose smiled and looked to the Doctor as she asked "Can we just let them have a quick peek inside to give them some convincing?"

"Ah, why not!" The Doctor turned and unlocked the door to the TARDIS. "Wipe your shoes before you come in, gents!"

"I am _not_ squishing myself into a phone booth with three people." Dean raised his hands to emphasize his rejection to the idea. "Especially when two of them are Looney Tunes."

"Come on now, we believed ya, now's your turn to trust us." Rose grinned and followed behind the Doctor. "Well what are you waiting for!" She called from inside.

Sam glanced at Dean and, after a quick shake of the head signaling 'no way' from Dean, followed in after the two. Dean sighed and followed his brother into the tiny box only to stop and stare at the freaking _hugeness_ of this payphone.

He could fit the Impala in there!

The Doctor stood at the console and played with some switches. "Gentlemen. May I present to you my ship, Time and Relative Distance in Space, or TARDIS for short." The Doctor said with pride in his voice. "Best ship in the cosmos, galaxy, universe, parallel universes, well, you get the drift." He placed his hands in his pockets and stood next to Rose as the boys circled around staring at the infinite space inside with their jaws practically hitting the ground.

"It's…" Sam started. "It's…"

"Bigger on the inside?" Rose suggested with raised eyebrows.

"Freaking _gigantic_ on the inside!" Dean corrected. "And you're telling us this Tardy-"

"TARDIS" Rise chimed in.

"TARDIS can go anywhere in time?"

"Time _and_ space." The Doctor corrected with a smile. "Any planet, any time, anywhere."


End file.
